March of the Mortals 2024 Tournament Report

     It’s 4 am on Friday and I’ve got a flight from Denver to Dallas at noon. Our dog is sick, and I’ve been taking her out every 2 hours through the night. It’s been snowing non-stop since Wednesday. At first, I was happy that I decided to fly rather than make the drive down south but now that we’re close to 2 feet of snowfall, I’m worried that my flight might get cancelled. I decide that if that happens, I’ll just go home, get in the car, and drive the 12 hours to Denton. It dawns on me that I’m a crazy person; it would be insane to drive until 3 am and then try to wake up at 8 to get ready for a full-day tournament. I’ve already bought my tournament entry, my Airbnb accommodations, and a plane ticket. Surely adding a full day of driving on top of all of that is worth getting to play in March of the Mortals? As I’m getting into the Uber that’s supposed to deliver me to the airport, I plead with the gods of aviation to let my flight work out so that I don’t have to do crazy things. “Please don’t make me do crazy things.” That’s just a normal, sane-person type of prayer. Right?

     It’s 9 am on Saturday and we’ve got the player meeting starting in 30 minutes. The flight yesterday didn’t get cancelled, and I even managed to get a couple of hours of sleep on the journey! Sealed last night was a blast and I spent the end of the last round brainstorming a wild deck idea with Patrick Marlett of LGG. Sorcery is amazing! I’m so glad I made it here.

     I spent a good portion of last night trading for foils for my tournament deck and now I’m hunting down the last few cards in an attempt to have a fully-foiled list for today. Noah (@headchef_nbk on the Sorcery Discord) has two foil Colicky Dragonettes and after some bartering and a near miss with spilled coffee, they belong to me! For my spellbook, I just need one more Dragonettes and a Philosopher’s Stone. The player meeting is starting though, and there is no more time for trades. Now: we march to battle!

     I’m paired against Federico (@BROOTAL) for round 1. We played a lot on TTS over the last two months, and he has come very well prepared to combat my strategy. He’s running my deck’s nemesis: Earth/Air Sorcerer. I get off to a fast start and manage to get him down to 10 life pretty quickly. He knocks me down to 14 with a Bosk Troll but he is unable to fully block the threat of my Sleeping Giantess on a Rift Valley. He has 2 of his adjacent sites protected with Root Spiders but the third site is open. I’ve got a Vile Imp in hand to wake up the Giantess, but I also would like to deal with his Bosk Troll. I’m at 5 sites and also have Flame Wave, Common Sense, and Torshammar Trinket in hand. I figure that I can draw a 6th site for turn and use Flame Wave to clear the Bosk Troll, deal 3 damage to both of us, and awaken the Giantess. I draw a site and it’s a Remote Desert! This means that I can just use the Desert’s Genesis to activate the Giantess, attack Federico down to 5, Common Sense for a Firebolts, and then use that and my Vile Imp to get him to Death’s Door. This allows me to keep the Flame Wave in hand for the clean finish on the following turn. After double checking my math, I go for it. Once Federico has spent his mana on the following turn, I show him the Flame Wave and he scoops it up. I’m super stoked to have won against what is a really difficult matchup and we spend the next several minutes talking about the decks and cards choices for the event. Federico asks me what I think of Smokestacks of Gnaak in his Earth/Air deck, and we start talking about combating things like Gnome Holllows, Roots of Yggdrasil, and Genesis effects. He suddenly gives me a very strange look and puts the Smokestacks down on the table. “Wasn’t your Desert played next to the Smokestacks?”

“Oh my god! It was…I am so sorry!”

     I feel terrible. At this point we’ve deconstructed the whole game, put cards back into decks, and have been discussing the game for a while. We both totally forgot about the Smokestacks and now we’ve probably ruined the game beyond repair. After some discussion, we decide that we are going to try to reconstruct the game and, if we can get it to a place where we both feel like it is accurate, we’ll continue playing. It doesn’t take long for us to put things back together the way that they were including mulligans to the bottom of decks, minions banished with two separate Pillar of Zeiros triggers, as well as what the realm looked like with minions and sites. The unknown cards that weren’t part of mulligans were reshuffled.

     My turn is now changed to killing the Bosk Troll with the Vile Imp and the Desert ping AWAY from the Smokestacks. I fetch a second Imp with Common Sense, wake up the Giantess with the Imp’s genesis, and attack for 5. Federico is at 5 life to my 14, I know he has Earthquake in his hand, and he knows that I have Flame Wave and Trinket in mine. It’s not perfect but we’re both happy with being able to reset the board. He draws Divine Healing, goes to 12 life and deploys a Dalcean Phallanx. The game just turned around in a big way! We fight for another several turns and it’s a wildly close match. Time in the round gets called which means that whoever has the highest life total at the end of 3 turns wins! At the end of the third turn, I am at 1 life and he is at 0. He has two large minions on the field and can easily take me to Death’s Door the next turn. My board position is such that any Firebolts, Blaze, or Earthquake off the top would win the game. Both judges look at us like we’re mad men, we shake hands, and get ready for the next round!

     I’m a bit rattled going into the second round. How did I miss the Smokestacks last round? I tell myself to just slow down on making plays a little bit and do a quick check of everything that is on the board each turn. I sit down across from Daniel who is also on Sorcerer. I start wondering just how many people might be running Earth/Air and are looking to feast on the souls of us Fire/Earth players. Daniel turns out to be a Water Sorcerer and his draws were too slow to keep up with the tempo of Fire/Earth.

     For round 3, I’m paired with Ryan (@Froze) and he is running Avatar of Air. In testing, this has been a very favorable matchup for me and I’m feeling confident that I can win. Ryan plays Cloud City as his first site and then follows it up with a Mountain Pass in the center. I deploy a Giantess on my center site and pass. Ryan plays a site on the back row and summons Phantasmal Shade onto the Mountain Pass, blocking my Giantess. I have a Desert and a Bury though, and I’m able to get the Giantess onto the Pass and hit for 5 damage. The Giantess goes uncontested for two more turns and Ryan is at 5 life in very short order.

My phone starts going off and I realize that I’m getting a call from my Airbnb host. They’re wondering why my stuff is still in my room. I think that I’m booked for another night. They inform me that I am not. Excellent news! I apologize to Ryan as I try to keep up with the game while figuring out what the host should do with my stuff and booking another room for that night.

Focusing back on the game, I realize that my Giantess is dead and I’m being mauled by a flurry of aggressive minions and a Thunderstorm. My deck isn’t treating me well and while I manage to get Ryan down to Death’s Door and pin him on Cloud City in the corner, I’m at 7 life with a Thunderstorm on top of me and he has a pile of minions protecting him from the Colicky Dragonettes in my hand. I draw an Earthquake and am able to clear his minions setting up for a Dragonettes finish the next turn. The problem is that I’m going to Death’s Door on his turn and, if he can get into a position to block the dragon fire, I’ll be dead for sure. He isn’t able to maneuver away, and I rip a Vile Imp off of the top, giving me two ways to win!

     It’s time for lunch and I’m so ready for Texas BBQ from the food truck parked at Reaper. It’s pouring rain and I huddle under the small awning of the truck with Federico, Eric (@bennnjjjiii), and Dave (@DaveJ). At the end of a long wait for the food, it turns out that the generator for the truck died and all our BBQ is being served cold. BBQ is one of those food items that you don’t really realize how awful it can be until it’s presented to you in an unconventional way. Much like flat soda, or melted ice cream, cold brisket - with solid, white fat strips - really fails to hit the spot. Back inside and soaking wet, we munch halfheartedly on our tepid meat. It’s not great but at least we got to stand out in the rain while waiting for it.

     Lunch is over and it’s time for the 4th round. I’m facing Adam (@zalem) and I know that he’s running Enchantress with tons of removal for my minions. In testing against Enchantress my results are good, but Adam is one of the best players in the world, so this is going to be a tough match for sure. I almost submitted a decklist with two copies of Dispel since I knew that if I was doing well, I was likely to face Adam at some point. Right now, I’m cursing myself for chickening out and just running the single copy. He’s able to manage my board presence well and drop a Thunderstorm on my head. I take 9 from the Storm but he leaves a Bosk Troll for a single turn and I’m able to cash in on Gigantism and get in for 9 damage. We’re both at 11 life and Adam nearly drops my Giantess on his own head with Chaos Twister! Pretty soon, we are both at Death’s Door and I have a Petrosian Cavalry on the site with his avatar as well as another Cavalry and Blaze in hand. I have two minions with me on the site where my Sorcerer is parked so I feel pretty safe from a Lightning Bolt. If he has Lightning Bolt, he can move off of the site with my Cavalry and Bolt it but then he gets attacked by the second Cavalry in hand. Adam has the Bolt, and he decides to roll the dice and just try to zap me for the win. He hits it and lets out a big “YES!” at the same time I let out a big “WOW!” Heads from around the room turn to look at what the commotion is, and Adam shows me that he had a second Lightning Bolt in hand, so the odds were actually in his favor to land one on my head! Adam is a very cautious player though so it’s possible that if the first Bolt had missed, he might have moved his Enchantress and bolted my Cavalry, but we’ll never know.

     Round 5 is up and I’m facing off against Noah who traded me the two foil Dragonettes. My opening hand has the last non-foil Dragonettes in the deck, and I get the feeling that the foil ones are unwilling to betray their former owner. Noah is on Sorcerer and his first site is Windmill. Another Earth/Air midrange matchup; boy am I glad I didn’t play that second copy of Dispel! After a few early plays followed by a quickly dispatched Daperyll Vampire, Noah’s 5th and 6th turn add nothing to the board except for a Ruins site. This means it’s not just Earth/Air and I’m really curious what’s going on with his hand. I play Swiven Scout and see that he has 2 copies of Major Explosion AND Flame Wave but can’t cast them due to only having a single Fire threshold! I’m able to get him to Death’s Door that turn, and he dies to the onboard minions the following turn. The foil Dragonettes may not have been willing to betray Noah, but his Atlas definitely stabbed him in the back.

     I’m now 4-1 and playing a win-and-in for Top 8. I’m paired up with Trevor (@Kingofmidgard) and he’s running Sorcerer as well. I know from watching the tail end of his last match that he is piloting a solid Earth/Air midrange deck. I’m so happy I didn’t put that second copy of Dispel in my deck! Trevor and I both lost to Adam in previous rounds so if Adam wins this round, we’re both likely in good shape for a potential Top 8 with a win or a loss. Without much mana acceleration, Trevor is quickly overwhelmed by my hyper-aggressive opening, and I win while still at a healthy 20 life. I’m into the Top 8!

     After the match, I walk over to the table by the feature match area that has all of the amazing prizes. There is an Alpha booster box in the center flanked by 12 Beta boxes on either side. Up front are 8 Crown Sorcerer foils and March of the Mortals T-shirts. Behind the boosters is the top prize: an amazing original painting on canvas by Sorcery artist, Truitt Parrish. With 64 players in the event, this is the highest EV tournament I’ve ever been to. I can’t believe that one of those Crown Sorcerers now belongs to me and that I get the chance to compete for additional prizes on top of that!

     In the Top 8, my quarterfinals opponent is Arland, and he is also playing Fire/Earth Sorcerer. He wins the die roll and chooses to let me play first. The mirror match is typically a battle of attrition and going second for the extra card is correct. I’m glad that I decided to run the full set of 4 Bosk Trolls for this event as they are very important if you end up on the play and need to get aggressive in the mirror. I get in with an early Bosk Troll and then follow it up with a second one. Arland deals with the first Troll but I’m able to deploy a Giantess on the following turn. He tries to stem the bleeding with a Wicked Witch, but I have a Desert to wake the Giantess and a Blaze which allows her to run over the Witch and Sorcerer. Arland takes 10 that turn and is on Death’s Door the following turn. While taking the draw is correct in this matchup, there are still times when the aggressive start can put you on the back foot and it is very hard to recover from that. I congratulate Arland on his Top 8 finish and prepare for the semifinals.

     Adam won his match against Trevor, and now I must play him for a second time today. Why the hell didn’t I put that second Dispel in my deck??? I think back to our match in the Swiss rounds and hope that it will at least be a close game again.

     My opening hand has 2 Bosk Trolls and I’m on the play. I figure that if Adam doesn’t have mana acceleration AND a Wildfire, I can play them both up front and then split them up for 6 damage before he has the mana to cast a Wildfire. I go for it, but Adam has the Lone Tower and the Wildfire to clean up both Trolls. I play a Petrosian Cavalry the next turn and hit for 3 damage, but Adam answers them with a Thunderstorm. I have Dispel and Blaze in hand, and I’m hoping to use both to rush forward and knock out two targets on a later turn. Aside from that, my hand is quite weak and my only play for the turn is Swiven Scout. I get to look at Adam’s hand and he shows me Pollimorph, Angel’s Egg, and Grandmaster Wizard. He plays the Egg on the following turn and 'morphs my Scout into a Frog so that he can get an attack in with the animated Thunderstorm bringing me down to 9 life.

     I figure that I’ll be able to cash in on that Dispel when Adam plays his next Aura. For now, I’ve got to deal with this Thunderstorm for one more turn. I play Quarrelsome Kobolds to just chump block. Adam plays Grandmaster Wizard and attacks with the Thunderstorm. The Kobolds sacrifice themselves for the greater good. I untap and play a Giantess thinking that if Adam goes for an Aura on the back row this turn, it will be my opportunity to use Blaze plus Dispel and the Blaze will conveniently wake up the Giantess. Instead, Adam has drawn a Major Explosion, and he moves his Grandmaster Wizard forward to kill my Giantess while also dealing 5 damage to me.

I’m now at 4 life to Adam’s 20 and things are looking grim. I have a Pillar of Zeiros in hand and it nets me 6 life. I Common Sense to get a Vile Imp so that I can take the Grandmaster Wizard off the board. Hopefully this will prevent more proximity spells from being as effective. I then realize that I’ve sequenced my plays poorly but once I point it out, Adam lets me go back and kill his Wizard before dropping the Pillar. Thanks, Adam!

     Adam plays a second Thunderstorm to clear my Imp and is back up to 20 life thanks to the Angel’s Egg. At 10 life against a fresh Thunderstorm, I’m forced to use my Dispel and the dream of cracking his Egg is gone. I play a Vile Imp with no targets; my hand is really unexciting. Adam plays a second Wildfire to clear the Imp and moves it towards my Sorcerer. I draw a Root Spider and am able to protect my Sorcerer from the threat of an Animated Wildfire, but I still take 3 from its normal ability. Adam plays an Abundance on the back row now that he knows it’s safe from Dispel and continues moving the Wildfire around on my back row. I’m able to play a Colicky Dragonettes and a Vile Imp. Maybe one of these minions will survive so that I can finally use my Gigantism! Against the Angel’s Egg though, I feel like my only real shot at winning this will be if I can get a Quarrelsome Kobolds to survive for a turn and then use the Gigantism on them.

     Adam has a second Grandmaster Wizard and I feel the tiny glimmer of hope that I have dwindling down to an infinitesimally small mote of light. Disintegrate banishes my Dragonettes and an animated Abundance attacks me down to 2 life. Blink on the Wildfire clears my Imp; Adam is unwilling to let a single non-Frog minion survive. I run out a Kobolds and pray that somehow it’s able to live for a turn so that I can pull off the Gigantism play. I even walk my Sorcerer up one step so that the Kobolds are more likely to survive if Adam has a third Thunderstorm. He does have the third Thunderstorm and a second Pollimorph for my Kobolds. I’m now down to 0 life.

     At this point I’m realizing that my only hope to win this game is going to be to run away to my Pillar of Zeiros on the back row and just pile as many minions on that site as I can to avoid losing to Lightning Bolt and Thunderstorm. I’ve got a Frog token and the Root Spider to potentially buy me a turn if I surface it as a sacrifice to the thunder gods. Adam has another Blink for the Wildfire though and he is able to drop it right on my head for the win! Good game, Adam! Masterfully played! Wow! What a game!

I settle in with a few other onlookers to watch the final match between Adam and Chris (@Ismark the Lesser). It’s Enchantres VS Battlemage! It’s difficult to see past the glare on the sleeves but it seems like Adam animates Chris’s Thunderstorm to kill it since it is partially on the void. What I can see is that Chris has a hand full of Fire spells and he has no Fire threshold. He does finally manage to draw a Colour out of Space though and summons a Petrosian Cavalry, but he has to leave it back just to block since he’s at 6 life! Adam banishes the Cavalry with Disintegrate and puts Chris to Death’s Door on the following turn. Chris is now on the run to his back row and Adam doesn’t draw any action for several turns. Finally, Adam draws a Major Explosion and claims victory!

     The Top 8 players are rounded up for a photo with our spoils; lots of smiles all around! I promise myself that I’ll keep my box of Beta sealed so that I can draft it with my friends back home. Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Huge thanks to Drew (@drewid), Zachary (@Zackattack) and Reaper Game Store for putting on such an amazing event! I can't wait for the next one!